50 Days

It's been 50 days since I started this journey! I have lost 14 lbs! I am at 183lbs

Waist : 38"

Butt : 42"

Calf :16.5"

Arm:12.5"

Thigh: 23"

Now to be impressed we have to see where I started so from week one weigh in....

197.4lbs

Waist: 41.5"

Butt: 44"

Arm: 13.5"

Thigh: 24.5"

Calf: 16.5"

When I started I was attempting to run but had kind of given up. I was biking sometimes, and hiking, and walking. But now I bike almost every weekend. I have signed up for the Venus de Miles bike race in the Fall for a 28 mile ride, and I am training like crazy. I started running again and I am now up to 5 miles a day, and I went from a  12.5 min mile to an 11 min mile. My activity level has dramatically increased and I feel amazing. 

But I'm not done yet. It's so amazing what you can accomplish in just 50 days, and honestly it doesn't even feel like it has been that long. I feel stronger and more confident. I am so glad I started when I did. 

Eating out

As promised I am posting about what I eat when I go out. I do believe your "diet" (lifestyle change) needs to include the ability to eat out, especially if you are used to going out. I don't think a diet will actually work if you have to completely change everything about your life and eradicate everything convenient. We are bust people with lots to do and sometimes we may have to break down and go out for lunch or dinner, and it shouldn't be the end of the world. And it doesn't need to be a guilt filed experience.

My favorite places to go are Chick fil A, Qdoba, Panera, Subway, Modmarket, and California Pizza Kitchen. These places all offer nutrition information so you can make healthy choices when you do eat out.

I'm not gonna lie, readjusting you eating out habits is hard. I love waffle fries and chick fil a sauce, but that's not something I indulge in anymore. (unless I worked out really hard). So a meal for me at Chick fil A is either a grilled chicken sandwich with a fruit cup, or chicken nuggets (fried or grilled) with a fruit cup or side salad. You can find their nutrition calculator here http://www.chick-fil-a.com/food/meal

One note: beware of salads. They are deceptively full of calories! They put some many delicious toppings on salad that before you know it you have a 700 calories salad. So know before go. Don't assume a salad is a safe choice.

At Qdoba I love to get either the tacos, a naked burrito, or a salad. My tacos are soft with chicken, sour cream, cheese, pico, and lettuce. Naked burrito bowl is chicken, rice (no beans), queso, pico and guacamole. Salad is lettuce in a regular bowl, no dressing, chicken, fajita veggies, cheese, guacamole, and pico. You can build your own meals here http://www.qdoba.com/menu-nutrition

Panera is fabulous, I always end up getting a salad because their sandwiches are pretty calorie filled. I love the chopped chicken cobb with avocado it's just 580 calories and delicious. You can see Panera nutrition info here http://www.panerabread.com/pdf/nutr-guide.pdf

Modmarket is amazing as well. They serve only organic made to order foods. Its fresh and delicious. Their nutrition info is listed on their menu and on your receipt. I like to build my own salad with romaine, chicken, peppers, onions, cucumbers, avocado, buttermilk ranch dressing, and edamame. They also have a super yummy BBQ chicken pizza, you can order just the half size to reduce your calorie intake, or get the whole pizza and split it with a friend.

Remember eating out is sometimes unavoidable;e, but it does;t need to be an excuse to ruin your hard work. You can keep a healthy active lifestyle and still enjoy outings with friends and family. Just do the research before you go out. Or use your smart phone to do a last minute look up. Lots of places also have their nutrition info available on site if you ask.

Excuses Excuses....

Come on people, lets here them. I know you have them. You have a million excuse about why you just can't lose weight, or why you can't eat healthy, or why you can't work out. I think in my lifetime I have used every freaking excuse in the book (seriously I  have). "But I have kids, I work, I don't like vegetables, it's too hot to work out, it's too cold to work out, I don't have a gym membership, I was on vacation, it's a holiday, it was someones birthday, my kids won't eat that stuff, I was up late, I'm too tired today" etc. etc. etc. Seriously the list goes on and on.

I teach my children that they are responsible of their choices. I hate when they make excuses for their bad behavior. I want them to understand that we all have choices in life and our actions and consequences are a reflection of those choices. We choose to be mad, we choose to not work out, we choose to watch TV all day, we choose to have children, we choose to eat crappy food, we choose to eat the entire pan of brownies (oh yeah, I have totally done that more than once).

No one is making the choices for you, and so there is no to blame for your bad choices but yourself.

So why do we make all these elaborate excuses? Well number one, we are lazy plain and simple. We don't want to put in the effort that day, or week, or month or year. We feel justified in our excuses. I mean come on, having kids does make working out a challenge, it's true... and working makes it hard to find the time to fit in a work out. When something is hard we have learned to make up reasons why it simply will not work.

We also love to give other people excuses for why it will work for them but not us. Well she has a nanny so of course she has time to work out, well her husband makes plenty of money so she doesn't have to work of course she has time to look amazing. Well she isn't single having a spouse makes it all easier (which is total BS not all spouses are supportive or available). She obviously has a faster metabolism than I do, I bet she has never been fat in her life. She has more time, money, resources bla bla bla.

And then to top that off we find negative comments to make about people who are being active "look at that over achiever, oh brother," or "look at super mom over there making us all look bad" or "what does she spend her life at the gym? I 'm sorry I would rather spend quality time with my children than being selfish." She's too skinny, she needs to eat a sandwich, she must be high maintainince, she obviously cares too much about her appearance. We minimize others efforts and find ways to make them negative so we feel better about our choice not to be like them.

But here's the thing... you are responsible for your choices. YOU are making the choice every day to eat crap, to not work out, to not care. YOU make the choice to eat cake, to eat McDonalds, to sit on your butt. YOU are choosing to be fat. No one makes that choice for you and YOU are perfectly capable of making a different choice. I know it's hard to hear, but sometimes the truth hurts. You are choosing to make excuses.

So today choose not to make excuses. Make the choice to change.

Emotional Eating

I feel like this is a super important topic, and I want to share my own personal story in the hopes that it will motivate you assess your own eating habits and make changes.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, since I was a little girl. I used food as an escape. Food was good, it didn't judge me. I fed my anxiety with food, which led to more anxiety over being overweight. I fed my depression with food, which led to more depression over being fat. It was vicious cycle that I think many of us fall into.

At some point I decided I was tired of being fat and I took things to extremes. I didn't actually resolve any of my issues, I simply used my dysfunction in the opposite direction. I starved myself thin. I exercised obsessively. I lost about between 60-70 lbs in one year. I was convinced all my problems were caused by being overweight, and if I was just skinny I could be happy. Being thin was the answer. But it wasn't.

All my insecurities and anxieties still existed. I hadn't actually worked through any of it. I hadn't faced any of my problems. I had starved them hoping they would disappear.

Looking back now I only have about 5 photos of that time in my life where I was my thinnest. The sick part was that I still felt fat.

The point of all this is that we all have issues, some of us more than others, and for whatever reason we have turned to food to comfort us, to reward ourselves, to mask the pain of whatever we are afraid to face. Maybe what we are afraid to face is simply the fear that we can't lose weight. The fear of failure. Or maybe our problems lie much deeper. Food addiction is a real thing. And it is powerful. People use food all the time to self medicate just like alcoholics do.

The hard part is that an alcoholic can avoid alcohol if they want to quit, but we have to eat every day to survive. We have to face our addiction a minimum of three times a day, and that is hard.

The first thing you have to do is admit to yourself that you have been using food as a crutch, that you have been using food as a comfort, as a therapist, as a friend, a lover. But food is none of those things. Then you have to realize being skinny is not going to fix your insecurities. It is not the answer. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't eat healthy and lose weight, it just means you need to resolve your issues as well. It's a process, it's a journey. There is no quick answer. Alcoholics have to go to AA. It's a 12 step process and then a life time of making the choice every day. So a food addiction is going to have steps. It's going to be a battle. It's going to be hard, and it's going to hurt. As silly as it sounds you may cry, you may be angry and resentful. But it's all part of the process. 

For those of you have seen the Biggest Loser, you have witnessed the emotional breakdowns. The process brings all those emotions and deep issues to the surface. Taking away the food opens up pandoras box. You have to be brave! Don't be afraid to let it go. 

The only way to over come problems is to face them head on. Face your fears, face your sadness. Write it all out, write them down problem by problem, and look at what you have written down. Decide what you can fix and what you can't. Some of the reasons we eat are things that we can't change. If you can change something, do it. If you can't, then change your mind about it. Sometimes this cannot be done alone. Sometimes you need help and there is no shame in that. See therapist. It helps!

Once you have faced it and accepted it you have to find new ways to cope. Find other things that make you happy. Maybe working out can be one of the things that can make you happy. Listen to your favorite music, read your favorite book, start meditating, start yoga, watch your favorite movie, take a relaxing bath, call a friend, go out. Maybe you just need to have a good cry and let it go. Finding other ways to cope is huge. If you don't you will go right back to food.

Food never really fixed anything. Food made you feel better for a second, but then made you feel worse. Remember that. Remind yourself every time you open your cabinet hoping a sweet treat will fix your bad day. Paste your new skills in the cabinet so when you open it you see alternatives.

It kills me to see people who so desperately want to lose weight keep struggling because they just can't move past their food issues. They come up with one excuse after the other (and believe me I have too). Be stronger than your excuses. Be stronger than food. Don't let food control you. You are in control of you. Make changes today. You are so much stronger than you know. Stronger than you believe.

What I eat: Breakfast

Since I started running I eat a lot of Option 1 and 3. They give me a great crab boost for running. 

Option 1

Oatmeal (I like Active Lifestyles Maple Pecan)

Coffee*

Natural Bliss Creamer*

Option 2 

Egg white

Whole wheat bagel thin

2% cheese reduced fat Kraft single

Option 3 

Banana cut in half

1 TBs of Almond Butter

2 TBS of Kashi Go Lean Crunch Cereal

Option 4 

2 scrambled eggs

1/2 cup blueberries

1/2 cup strawberries

Option 5

Kashi Go Lean Crunch

Skim milk

Option 4 

1 piece of whole wheat toast

1TBS almond butter 

1/2 banana sliced 

Option 5 

Turkey Sausage

1/2 cup blueberries

1/2 cup strawberries

Option 6

1 Thomas mini whole wheat bagel 

1 TBS cream cheese

1 banana

*I have coffee with every breakfast

What I eat: Dinner

This one is hard, I have always fed the kids pretty healthy but we have also had a few nights where we ordered pizza, or stopped by some fast food chain. The kids are used to seeing vegetables on their plate and couscous and quinoa, but that does't mean they love them. My lift girl is super picky and she has been the hardest to convince. She has been required to try every veggie I put in froth of her, and over time the more she sees them the more she accepts that she has to eat them , and some she has even come to love.

Changing your whole families diet is a challenge, it helps if your partner is on board, but you may need to get used to the idea that your children are NOT going to be as excited about the healthy new lifestyle as you are. Don't give up, just keep at it and eventually they will get used to it. If they don't like it they can choose not to eat. It's not the end of the world. Eventually they will realize if they want to eat they have to eat what you serve. You are not a short order cook.

Meal 1

1 cup chicken breast pan grilled with seasoning (no olive oil)
Near East flavored Couscous 1/2 cup- 1 cup
1 1/2 cups of broccoli (no salt or butter)

Meal 2

3oz of Talapia oven baked with seasoning (no olive oil)
Near East or Zataran's flavored rice 1- 1/2 cup
Salad with 1 TBs of Light Ranch Dressing

Meal 3

4oz of Salmon
1 cup of steamed yellow squash and zucchini
Near East Quinoa blend 1-1/2 cup

Meal 3

Salad
Boiled egg
cherry tomatoes
bell pepper
cucumber
diced, cubed ham 1/2
2 TBS of Light Ranch dressing

or
Mixed greens
1/4 cup strawberries
1/4 cup blueberries
1/4 of an avocado
light goat cheese crumbles
poppyseed dressing 2 TBS

Meal 4

Turkey Burgers
1 slice of 2% kraft cheese
Whole Wheat Bun (you can skip the bun if you want)
Avocado 1/2
side salad with 1 TBS of light ranch dressing or watermelon

Meal 5

Zataran's Jumbalya Rice mix 1 cup
Turkey Sausage 1 link
Green Beans 1 cup

Meal 6

11 shrimp
1 cup Pasta Roni Garlic and Olive Oil Vermicelli
Asparagus

Meal 7

Turkey or chicken sausage grilled on the grill 2 links
Whole wheat bun (or skip the bun)
Fruit salad

Other side veggies:

sautéed fresh spinach and mushrooms
cucumber mixed with light italian dressing
sautéed kale (this one may be a acquired taste)


Again we eat lots of the same things, with just a tad variation. And yes we have ordered pizza. Once. We do eat out as well, I check calories before I go out so I know what to order. I eat at Chick fil A, Qudoba, Panera, Jimmy Johns, Subway, ModMarket, California Pizza Kitchen. Most places have their information available online. I will do another post about healthy choices when eating out another day.


*photos are not mine- taken from google search*

How I eat: Lunch

I feel like just explaining the calorie intake isn't super helpful because it's not just about the calories, it's also about the kinds of food you eat, and I think we all get a little stuck on what we should be eating to lose weight. So I am going to share my menu. Starting with lunches.

Lunches look like this:

Option 1

Thomas Whole Wheat Bagel Thin
1/3 less fat Cream Cheese 1 TBS
1/4 cut and peeled cumber
2 oz Hillshire Farms Smoked Turkey Breast

I love this sandwich. Its delicious! I add blueberries or strawberries as a side, or baby carrots.


Option 2 (this is my staple, I tend to eat this most days. I like the veggies and light lunch)

Mini Thomas Whole Wheat Bagel
1/4 a bell pepper
1/2 peeled cut cucumber
6 cherry tomatoes
6-8 baby carrots
2 TBS of Kraft light Ranch dressing or 2 TBS of Athenos Hummus
1/2 cup of diced cubed ham (Kroger brand) Or 2 oz Hillshire Farms Smoked Turkey Breast

Option 3

Two Carb Balance Mission Tortillas
1/2 an Avocado
1/4 cut peeled cucumber
3 oz Hillshire Farms Smoked Turkey Breast

add cantaloupe or strawberries as a side

Option 4

One Blue Corn and Flax Artisan Mission Tortilla
2 oz of Turkey Breast
TBS of 1/3 less fat Cream Cheese or 1/4 cup Fat Free Kraft Shredded Cheese

add strawberries or blue berries or maybe an apple

Remember it might be a little boring, but food is fuel. It's not about fun. It's not your best friend or your therapist. You are fueling your body and trying to stay healthy. I tend to eat the same thing all the time and mix in the other options when I get bored, or my body says we need something new. I try hard to listen to my body and cravings. Your body really does know what it needs.

**Also I know lots of people like organic, so you will need to adjust these options to fit your lifestyle, and count calories accordingly.**

Stop starving!

Here's the thing, most of us are totally clueless about how to effectively lose weight. We honestly think it takes starvation. But that's not the case. The problem is perception. We live in society that teaches that enormous portion sizes are normal, and so when we see a truly normal portion size we think we are being starved. It seems like a joke. We start to believe food is the enemy. It's not! Food is good for you.

Changing your eating habits starts with changing your perception. Seeing the world through smaller glasses (and bowls, and plates). This however, does not mean barely eating anything. When I started this I set up my caloric needs through a program but you can figure it out on your own. You need to know your BMR, your basal metabolic rate. This will tell you how many calories your body burns just existing every day. That means if you woke up and laid around all day. Here is a nifty calculator for you http://www.myfitnesspal.com/tools/bmr-calculator

Mine is 1601. That means if I did nothing all day I could still eat 1600 calories and not gain weight.

To lose one pound a week you need a calorie deficit of 500 calories per day for 7 days. This can be done through working out or calorie cutting. But remember it's not a good idea to cut your calories below 1200. You need food to survive, for your brain to function, for your body to keep moving and working. So what's the magic number??

Seriously the easiest way to figure that out is to use some sort of weight loss program. I use My Fitness Pal. It is easy and the numbers are calculated for me. I don't have to guess at all. I set my goal for 1 /12 pounds per week so I get 1410 calories per day, this means if I do nothing all week, just my normal daily stuff, I will lose 1 1/2 pounds per week just by eating 1410 calories.

But I love to work out! So I have looked up calorie burn for my favorite activities and I use an app to help estimate calorie burn, I then input this into My Fitness Pal and it recalculates my calories based on this activity. I have found that I can consume these extra calories I burned and still lose weight.

It is super tempting to leave some of those burned calories, but if you are already at something dramatic like 1200 calories a day, don't do it. You are asking for problems. Your body needs fuel, it needs you to feed it. If you burn it you can eat it. Just make sure you are eating healthy foods, not fatty ones. And if you are at a higher calorie count like 1410 it is ok to leave a few excess calories from working out and not re-eat all of them, but do your best.

For instance, there have been days I burned over 1000 calories working out, but I honestly couldn't eat all that food. I wasn't hungry enough. So I ate what I could and had a huge deficit. Sometimes that will happen. Just be sure you are taking supplements and drinking lots of water. Pay attention to your body.

Starving yourself will only lead to burn out and exhaustion. If you don't eat enough you will be too tired to work out. Think of food as fuel for your body. Working out is to shape and transform your body while calories restriction is for weight loss. Too much restriction will not help. Please eat!

One step closer

The whole story

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was never a very active kid, until I was about 16 then I played volley ball and basketball with my church group. I was an overweight a teenager. I was that awkward chubby nerdy kid all through high school, until I hit 17 and I shed a ton of weight. When I met my first husband I was a size 5 and 132 lbs. I had starved myself thin and worked out obsessively. It worked and I was thin for the first time in my life. But that didn't last long. I gained a good 20 lbs by the time I was 19 and at 19 I was also married.

A very bad marriage and two kids helped me pack on even more pounds. At my heaviest I topped out around 235 after the birth of my son. I had gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy, and lost most half of it after he was born. I somehow got down to around 205 before I got pregnant with my daughter and then managed to put on 70 lbs during that pregnancy. I ended up back at 235 after giving birth to her.

Then shortly after she was born I had a horrible gallbladder attack and had to be on a very strict diet for a month before they could remove the stupid thing. By the time they removed it I had dropped about 15 lbs. and then after the surgery I still had to be very careful, and I ended up dropping the rest of the weight. By the time my met my current husband I was 199 lbs.

My husband lived a very active healthy lifestyle and I ended up around 179 the first sumer we were together. I was so excited!

But over time we got busy, and life became more stressful and we had less time to work out and I ended up gaining most of it back. I topped out 5 weeks ago at 197 and that's when I decided I was done. I was tired of being fat and I was not about to go back to that place. That's when I started this journey.

I have since lost 13 lbs. Lots of hard work, and dedication. And I am determined as ever. Someone asked me the other day how I stay motivated. This is how. I look back at these photos and know I never want to be there ever again.

PMS, killing good diet intention everywhere

The title really says it all. When I start to get close to that dreaded time of the month the whole eating healthy and working out thing gets really hard, and sounds less and less appealing. I mostly feel like this

I get tired, and grumpy. I get crabby, and emotional. I want to eat nachos, and french fries, and nachos.

I have worked very hard to stay on track for 5 weeks, but the last two days I was over my calories allowance by like 400 calories each day. And I'm having trouble not totally beating myself up for it. 

It sucks, because every two weeks I will have this really dramatic weight  loss, like 3 lbs in a week. I know it's too good to be true and I assume it's some mystery pound that will certainly be back by morning. This week I lost 4 lbs in a week. I was super excited! I also realized it was probably a fluke and at least one of this lbs would come creeping back. I weighed the next morning, still the same! 

But the last two day I over did it. I certainly didn't eat enough to actually gain an entire pound back, and I did work out both days, but somehow that stupid pound is back and I m so frustrated. 

What's up with the weight seeming to spring back up over night even if we only over indulge a tiny bit. 

So I don't have any miracle answer for how to stave off cravings during PMS. I just have to try even harder and keep reminding myself why I am doing this. Keep trudging along. 

Some days I'm super enthusiastic about the whole process, about the weight loss, the progress, the diet, feeling good. But then sometimes it really is hard, and feels exhausting and I lose my enthusiasm.

So today I'm trying to get back on track and let go of yesterday. I don't want my frustration about failing to cause me to continue to fail. I want it to fuel my desire to kick that pound off again. Maybe I can channel my PMS attitude into a killer workout this morning :) 

Lesson learned...

So yesterday I  was feeling totally depressed, and just not myself. I had no idea what was going on. I was eating well, I was wokring out a lot. All things that should help a person feel less depressed. It just kicked in all the sudden, and  I felt horrible. Being the curious person that I am, I looked up depression related to working out. I figured it was a long shot since working out is supposidly something that is supposed to help with anxiety and depression. But I found several articles on how they can be linked!

The causes are over training, and low blood sugar, also related to over doing it. Basically when you push your body too far you can start to feel depressed. This Live Strong article is a good read on that topic.

 http://www.livestrong.com/article/392641-does-exercise-cause-depression/

 and this one... http://chriskresser.com/why-you-may-need-to-exercise-less
(the article mentions Paleo, I'm not Paleo, but the over training information still applies)

I also read a great blog article about a woman who took 4 weeks off for vacation, and tried to jump right back into her routine only to feel awful and depressed. The problem was low blood suagr, because she was also dieting. I can't seem to find that article again.

But I asessed my weekend and realized I was probably suffering from over training and not enough food.

When you work out you burn calroies, and if you are dieting the advice is to eat what you burn, because you are already at a calorie deficit for the day. It is so tempting not to replace all those burned calories, because you think you will lose faster. But that is not true. Your body needs the food to function and you may end up killing your weight loss dreams.

The calorie limit I have set for myself is based on my weight, my weight loss goals, and my activity level. I set my activity level at light acticvity, because most of the time I am sitting around the house. I don't have an active job. So my calories are based on sitting on my butt. When I work out I burn anywhere between 500 and 1000 caories a day. Honestly some days I just cant replace them. I just don't feel hungry enough to eat 1000 more calories. So what to do??

First I think I need to slow down on the weekend workouts. I get bored and end up running and biking, and sometimes more. I also need to replace my calories. I made the mistake this weekend of not replacing enough of these calories the day before. I read that low blood sugar can take up to a day to kick you in the butt.

The article says some peole need to eat before a work out and right after to help keep blood sugar regulated. Another article I read said that most athletes remember to replace protein after a work out so their muscles will repair, but we also need carbs. Your body needs carbs after a work out to refuel and repair itself. So don't be afraid of carbs! Eat complex carbs though, not white flour, sugar or white rice.

Lesson learned, don't over do it. Eat enough to fuel your body. There is no fast track to weight loss, chill and it will come off. Reminding myself this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Stop fad dieting right now!

I know in my first post I complained about people calling it a "lifestyle" change. And then a few posts ago I said it really does have to be a lifestyle change! Now, I am that annoying person. Diets fail. They do. I see it over and over. People want to lose weight so they try some diet, hoping it will be the magic bullet that leads to weight loss. The problem with all these "magic bullets" is that people can't keep up with them. They don't fit into a normal routine well enough. 

For instance, Nutirsystem. It seem alike a fabulous idea. Pay for the meals, they get delivered to your home, and they take all the guess work out weight loss! Except that's the problem, they take out all the work. So what happens when you can't afford to have the meals delivered anymore? Now you are back to guessing. Because you never took the time to figure out healthy eating on your own, you are most likely going to fall back into old patterns and gain weight back. Plus diets like this aren't reasonable for families. If only one person is dieting it might make sense, but then you are always making separate meals. One for the family and one for yourself.... that's just silly. That can't be continued for a life time. And besides that what does that say to the rest of the family about healthy eating? It's not for everyone? 

What about juicing? It's a huge thing right now. Everyone seems to be doing it. It's fairly simple and people seem to be feeling amazing. Except that seriously, all you are going to do is drink smoothies the rest of your life.... What about kids, husbands? Are they just gonna drink smoothies forever, or again is this just about you? This kind of diet is bound to fail because we are meant to eat actual food that you chew. You are bound to get tired of nothing but juice. You are bound to fall back into old patterns. Again this diet doesn't actually help you learn how to eat the right way. It simplifies the process of dieting by limiting you to one type of meal. This is not helpful! 

Slim fast... this one died a while ago, but it's a great example of taking things to extremes. Really, shakes and bars. Is this sustainable for a lifetime? 

All of these "diets" are popular because they seem simple, and quick. They take all the work out of dieting. But they require a lifestyle change that is impossible to maintain. They are diets. A lifestyle change requires work. It requires dedication, and education about food. Real food that you eat every day. 

I changed the way I eat, and I also changed the way my whole family eats. I want them to be healthy too. I want them to see the importance of fueling your body to be at it's best, not eating weird stuff just to lose weight. I want to set up good eating patterns now while they are little. I don't want them to struggle like I did. I also want to help them take the "guess work" out of eating healthy. 

These diets suggest that Americans are to lazy and stupid and figure out healthy eating on their own. They want a fast simple solution, so here it is. But these diets are only adding to our problems, not helping to solve them. 

I'm going to take an educated guess that most of us trying to lose weight were not raised eating healthy foods and leading healthy active lifestyles. That's why we are struggling now. That's why we are frustrated and fat. 

The changes I made seemed extreme at first. I was used to a totally different way of thinking about food, and calories. I was totally unaware of just how much crap I was ingesting. It was so hard to wrap my mind around what I was supposed to be doing all along. But it seems to have clicked. It makes perfect sense now, and I can't believe I ate the other way for so long. I can't believe I wasn't even heavier honestly. 

Someone asked me the other day how I kick my sugar cravings. I don't! I still eat normal foods, and I still eat sugar. I just make wiser choices about what I eat. For instance, I ate at Qudoba last night. I looked up the calorie info before I went. They have a fabulous meal calculator that helps you make better choices about what you order. So I ordered 3 soft tacos, with chicken, lettuce, pico, cheese and sour cream. 705 calories. That's a pretty large meal calorie wise, but I worked out yesterday and I had the calories to spend. When I got home I tried these new Dove mini chocolate bars 60 calories each. I ate two. They were delicious, and just enough that I didn't feel deprived, but I also didn't feel like I over did it. I woke up this morning a tad worried that I may have over done it, but according to my calorie count I stayed within my budget for the day even though I ate that stuff on top of what I ate through out the day. I weighed in at less than I did yesterday! 

The key is to do the work. Figure out how much your body needs every day, look at the calories and the nutrition information of what you are putting into your body. Educate yourself on your true caloric need, and eat more healthy foods! Measure and figure out real portion sizes. Eat fruits, eat vegetables, eat proteins. Stop eating so many sweets. It really is that simple. And it really is something that you can sustain for your whole life. 

So stop with the fast fad diets and lose weight for real. It doesn't have to be that hard, you don't have to deprive yourself. You just have to do the work. 

weigh in week 5

5 weeks! I can't believe it's already been 5 weeks.

Weight: 185.8

Waist: 39"
Butt: 42"
Calf: 16.5"
Arm: 13"
Thigh: 23 13/16"

Self Control, I have some right??

The hardest lesson to learn through this process has been the difference between want and need. I used to think I needed a scone, no really I NEEDED it! I couldn't possibly make it through the day without one. I was an emotional eater (and deep down I still am) It's a recurring battle.

Food made me happy, it made me feel calm. Or so I thought. Now that I am eating better I am seeing that the constant carbs and sugar I was ingesting was actually not helping my mood or anxiety at all. Eating more healthfully, and working out has helped my mood, and helped my anxiety.

Part of my stress/ emotional eating comes from having kids. Anyone with kids can totally testify to this. They are stress causers, and stress makes me to want to eat total crap. Also they are exhausting, and exhaustion makes me to want sugar. Notice I said want both times. I don't need it, I just want it. I think it's going to be helpful, but once the sugar rush is gone I'm lower than before.

I have fought hard in my life to feel in control of myself. My thoughts, my emotions, everything, but somehow this area was where I fell short. Food is the one place I totally lose control. I think it's because other overwhelming situations in my life always led me to food. I self medicated with food. And I still do, just in a different way. When I start to feel tired or run down I think about what my body may be asking for. Do I need protein? Would some veggies be good? Some vitamins?

I'm trying to listen to my body and give it what it needs, not what my brain may want. I want to be in control of myself. I don't want to feel like food controls me. I don't want to be subject to chocolate cake.

So I tell myself this mantra, "You don't NEED it you just WANT it" You are in control of you. You are strong and you can do this.

Food mmmmmm

Some people have asked about how I have changed my diet since I started this. Well prior to being healthy I was attempting to be healthy. I ate veggies, and grilled chicken and fish, and those Lean Cuisine meals for lunch. However I ate out, way more than I should have, and I certainly didn't skimp on the yummy treats I love like scones and muffins. I was completely unaware use how unhealthy everything was. Even when I thought I was making a good choice I had no clue how many calories I was consuming each day. I don't think most Americans do, which is why we have an obesity epidemic.

So my average daily calorie intake these days is between 1600-1900. This is on days when I work out. If I don't work out I attempt to keep it around 1450. However I typically work out so I can eat a little more. I usually still feel pretty hungry at only 1400 calories.

I log all my food into My Fitness Pal app which is super helpful! Even things like fruit carry lots of calories. A regular 6-7 inch banana is around 100 calories. So it's really nice to keep track and really see what I am putting into my body every day.

I start my day with something to help get my blood sugar up and ready to work out. This morning I had a banana cut in half with almond butter and Kashi on top. I also had my morning coffee with 2 TBS of creamer. All of this added up to 287 calories. This is a great boost for my morning run. I also found oatmeal to be a great work out food. I love Active Lifestyles Maple Pecan Oatmeal (180 calories).

If I need some protein I will have an egg mixed with egg whites, or just egg whites on a whole wheat bagel thin with a piece of 2%  Kraft Cheese.

For snack I usually have some type of fruit, I love blueberries, strawberries and kiwi. And then of lunch I eat mostly veggies with some sort of protein. This is what my plate usually looks like

This lunch is about 297 calories. And it's actually very filling! Sometimes I have light ranch dressing instead of hummus. And sometime I will have a salad. But I try to keep my lunch light and packed with veggies. Afternoon snack is usually fruit again or greek yogurt.


Dinner usually consists of some form of lean meat, chicken, fish, turkey sausage etc. and a grain, couscous, or rice, and veggies. I also love sweets so I try to find healthy alternatives to chocolate cake. I eat chocolate pudding, or chocolate granola bars, Special K chocolate crisps etc. These usual don't exceed 180 calories.

I measure everything! I want to be sure I am being accurate and really seeing what a true serving looks like. I never guess.

I also drink WAY more water. I used to be lucky to get 3-4 glasses of water a day, now I average 7-9 glasses.

All of this is a huge change from the way I used to eat. And my body feels better, my body works better. I feel happier, and my digestive system is so much happier.

To follow my diet closer follow me on My Fitness Pal http://www.myfitnesspal.com/chuffman84

Work Out

I just wanted to share what I meant in my last post by work out A LOT. This is what my week looked like from June 30th - July 7th.

Sunday: 2.62 mile walk, and circuit training 30 minutes

Monday: 3.43 mile run, and 1.68 mile walk, and bicycling 70 minutes 12-14mph pace

Tuesday 3.03 mile run
*ab chalenge

Wednesday: 30 minutes of circuit training
*ab challenege

Thursday: 6 mile walk
*ab challenge

Friday: 3.41 mile run
*ab challenge day

Saturday: 3.43 mile run

Sunday: 3.28 mile run

As of June 7th when I started this is what my average week has looked like, sometimes taking a one day break, sometimes a little less cardio and more circuit training (weight training). I have lost 10 lbs in a month. Obviously excercize is not the only reason, but I have lost 2 inches from my waist and 1/2 an inch everywhere else. I am seeing my body change, other people are seeing it too. I love the way I feel when I am active. My plan for today, run then bike ride. Get up off the couch! Do it!

Lessons I've learned...

After a month of my new lifestyle change (yes I said lifestyle change, not diet) I have managed to lose 2 inches from my waist and 9 pounds! In this last month there are a few things I have learned.

1. It really is a lifestyle change. When you first start, it feels like a diet, a dirty word that all women hate. It feels like deprivation, it feels crappy. But you quickly discover that results are only possible when you live it day in and day out, which means it has to become a lifestyle, even on vacation, even on holidays. You have to be committed to changing your life style, not just changing your food for a little bit till you lose what you want to lose.

A diet is fairly commitment free, we start them knowing in the back of our mind they won't last long, and knowing we can give up at any point. But a life style change takes commitment. It means you are making a choice about your whole life, not just a few weeks.

Diet's allow for cheating, life style changes do not. If you are making life changes, honest changes you want to live by, you don't have much desire to cheat. Dieting always leaves room for a little cheating because you don't actually want to be on a diet.

You have to really want to change your life not just your body shape.

2. You have to work out, a lot. This too is part of your life style change. You have to be willing to be active as much as you can. It's hard with work and kids, but you have to commit to it. You start by adding a work out routine, and then you find other ways to add activity into your life. Park as far away from the store entrance as possible, walk to your favorite coffee shop to get your latte, walk to the park with your kids, play outdoors with your kids, go hiking etc. The possibilities are endless!

3. After  few weeks, you won't want the bad food. I mean you might a little, but the bad foods will actually make you feel bad. You will see very quickly how much better your body operates on healthy foods, and see how sick and gross you feel with the fatty foods, and you will want to avoid them.

4. This is the most important. You have to really want this. You have to decide this is important and you are not giving up. If you are not committed, you will fail. Its all about how you think. You control yourself, what you eat, what you think, what you do. Your thoughts play a huge role in what you do. You talk yourself in and out of things. Your mind is what gives up in the end. You have the strength to keep going, but you have to change your mind.You have to keep yourself motivated. No one can want it for you. You have to want this.

Todays' mommy friendly work out

Because I am a mom I have to find work outs I can do at home. I have a gym membership, but we don't use it over the summer.

Today's workout...

I started with Day 3 ab challenge (see ab challenge at the end of this post my husband started this 2 days ago.)

40 squats

40 lunges

40 calf raises

50 sec wall squat ( lean against a wall in a  seated position)

100 jumping jacks

50 sec wall squat

30 leg raises, each side (lay on your back hands at your sides, bend one knee and keep the other one extended, raise your extended leg straight up and lower again)

40 butt lifts (lay flat on your back, hands at your sides, get into bridge position and slightly lower your butt and then lift again, very small pulses)

20 side leg lifts right side with leg extended (both sides)

20 side leg lifts with leg bent (both sides)

20 push ups

25 bicep curls with the rubber band

30 tricep pulls with the rubber band

25 tricep dips on the bench

40 squats

Done!

What's my motivation?

Some days when I feel like this is exhausting I have to remind myself why I am doing it. This week has been great and I feel like I have a second wind. But it's still good to remind yourself what your motivation is. I have two reasons. My first and foremost is just for me. It's totally selfish and shallow, and that's ok. 

I want more than anything to look just like this

 I found this photo on Pinterest and I have been envious of this woman ever since. I know that my body in all honesty will never look "exactly" like this, because I'm not actually shaped this way, and I'm pretty sure this woman hasn't given birth. My stomach (without surgical help) will never look like this. But that's ok. I can get close, and close is good enough for me. 

I want to be sexy, I want to feel hot in my own skin. I want to love shopping and look amazing in everything I try on. I don't want to give in to the idea that my body is supposed to be a mess because I am a mom. I want to be a fit, sexy mom. 

Reason two 

this little girl watches my every move. She wants to be just like me right down to the man I married. She tells me she is going to choose a man just like him. Thank God I picked a good one. She wants to wear makeup, and perfume, she watches how I do it and attempts to copy me. She makes comments about how pretty my clothes are, how pretty my earring are. She wants a purse and a cell phone. She carries her fake phone around and talks on the phone just like I do, she even pretends to text people. Right now she is 5 (this is an old photo) and she is super smart, and super perceptive. She is soaking in everything around her and making sense of what it means to be a girl in the world she lives in. And I am her first example. 

I have often asked my husband if I have said things about myself that might cause my daughter to think women have low self esteem. But he insists that I am quite confident. But my daughter is already very aware of what fat means, and that it isn't pretty. That fat is a bad word that makes people feel bad, and not really because of me, but because of her grandmother. She came back from a weekend with her once and told me she had called her grandmother fat. I told her that wasn't very nice and that probably hurt her feelings. My daughter was puzzled. Up to then fat was simply a fact, a describing word. She insisted "but mom she is fat," and I had the difficult task of explaining why it might upset someone to call them fat. Sadly it starts very early. 

I have tried very hard to use the word healthy instead of skinny in my house. When I work out and she asks why I am doing it, I tell her I want to be healthy. I have also said though that fat is not healthy, fat hurts your heart, and can make you sick. I have attempted to tie the word with the health risks and not the superficial ones. But she isn't dumb, she knows fat is also ugly. From little things I have said without thinking, from TV and magazines, from grandma. They catch on early. As their mother we may be their first influence, but certainly not their only one, and we can't pretend that we can protect them in a bubble where women aren't valued for their looks. 

I know that one day she will totally obsessed with her body image. That she all worry and wonder if she is good enough, and that breaks my heart, but it is the reality we live in. So it is my job as her mother to start her with a healthy lifestyle early. I want her to see me being active, to see me eating healthy, to see that health and fitness are a part of life, a normal thing we do and think about every day. 

One reason I have such a hard time thinking of this as a "lifestyle" change myself is that I didn't grow up in a home where healthy eating and fitness were just part of life. So for me this is a huge shift, it's always a diet. I hope to change my mentality over time too. I hope as it does become a way of life for me and my kids, I will eventually just feel like it is a lifestyle, my lifestyle. 

So there they are. Plain and simple. My reasons to lose weight. What is your reason?