Because I want you to succeed....

I started this journey in May of 2013. I changed my diet, and got active, like super active, and in 4 short months I shed 30 pounds. For about a year and half I tried hard to keep losing, to define my body and get that six pack I always dreamed of. But it proved to be much more difficult than I initially imagined. So about a year ago I let go of the obsession and decided I just wanted to maintain, and for the most part I have! There is a good 10 lbs that comes and goes, but I still wear the same pants so I call that a maintenance victory.

In the last 3 years I have spent and insane amount of time studying, researching, pouring over articles, and blog posts, and books searching for information on nutrition. There is so much conflicting information out there, and it is difficult to figure out what you should be doing. There are diets that are low carb, no carb, gluten free, vegan, dairy free, and the list goes on and on. They all promise if you just follow THIS you will see the results you want. But how on earth are you supposed to figure out which one is right?

In 2014 I was at a standstill with my weight loss. I couldn't figure out why. That was when I met a friend who was doing something called the 21 Day Fix. I was immediately intrigued because it came with an eating plan that made it super simple to see what size portion you needed and how much you needed every day. It seemed like the answer I was looking for. All I wanted was a silver bullet answer, something to just tell me in layman's terms what I was supposed to eat! I attempted it for 1 week, and then gave up. I was starving following the plan and I felt like it just couldn't possibly be the answer I was looking for. Surely I wasn't supposed to be so hungry all the time.

So I did more reading, more research, and found so many resources that were in direct opposition to the eating plans that come with most "get thin quick" plans. I love Beach Body workouts, but  you must keep in mind when doing them that the eating plans are meant to be used to lose weight quick. They are not meant to be sustained over long periods of time. The Beach Body programs do work. If you follow it you will see results. If you need a jump start they are a great way to get yourself going. BUT if you are looking to make changes long term, do not rely on these programs solely.  Quick fixes  are not sustainable over time, especially if you are not a personal trainer, or a fitness model. You can see more about my feelings on restrictive eating programs here . The programs are a great guide. They are great way to retrain your brain and change your eating habits, but you have to figure out how to keep those changes going once the program ends.

When you begin a Beach Body program you must think about where you are. If you are someone who regularly consumes over 2300 calories a day and you suddenly cut that down to 1500 a day and add in intense exercise you are setting yourself up for failure. You will be tired and hungry and could potentially screw up your metabolism ( Read more on this here , here , and here ).

I found a great book "Strong is the New Skinny" about a year ago and I started following their eating plan which allowed me to eat 1800-1900 calories a day 3 days a week, and every 4th day I upped it to 2300. I followed this for over a month with no variations, I was consistent and I lost weight! My body started to change. I saw definition, and I saw results, and I wasn't hungry. I didn't have to starve. I was finally feeding my body enough that it could work efficiently and make the changes I wanted (read about more on that here) . If you want to see more about this plan and the calculation I used click here . Or buy the book, it is great!

This last year my journey has been about finding out what my goals really are, what is really sustainable for me, and what is realistic. A little advice on what I have learned...

These bodies, are A LOT of HARD work, all the time. These people live fitness. They always think about what they eat. Their life is their body.





And that's ok, but that is not me. And it's probably not you either. Chances are you need to find a way to make health and fitness a part of your life, but maybe not your entire existence. I am guessing you want to lose weight and feel good about yourself. You want to make changes, but you still want to live and have cake and wine sometimes.








As much as I would love to be fitness or swim suit model, I just don't have the energy or time to devote. Now that I know what it takes, I realize that is not how I want to live my life. I want to be healthy, happy, confident, and feel good. But I also want to enjoy a burger with my husband, eat cake on my birthday and get a beer with my friends. I want to live a life of balance. Back in August of 2014 I was the smallest I had been in years, my waist (measured just under my belly button, the widest section) was 33 inches today it is 39 inches. Would I like to go back to that smaller midsection, heck yes! But that wasn't a sustainable life for me.

I want you to challenge you to think about what you really want, and what you can really achieve while still living a life you enjoy.

A New Challenge

I took a hiatus from the blog for a while. I started a new job, I was swamped and exhausted and just needed some time to reassess things.

But I'm back and excited to start something new! I have partnered up with a dear friend of mine to help her build her Beach Body empire. I am not a Beach Body coach, but I am working as her "assistant" to run challenges and spread the word about the awesome effects of beach body workouts.  I love it because it helps keep me motivated and accountable and I get to do my favorite thing, motivate and inspire others!

Monday we start a Piyo Challenge. For those of you who don't know what Piyo is here is a quick breakdown.

Piyo is a mix of Pilates (Pi) and Yoga (yo). It is a low impact way to help shape and define your body.   The program is great for anyone with an injury, or anyone who is just getting into fitness. It can also be a great way to define after an extended period of weight loss.

Your program includes the workouts, the eating guide, and a measuring tape to help you keep track of your progress. You can purchase the pack here  this link is the challenge pack that also includes Shakeology which is a big part of the Beach Body approach. I personally don't drink it because I'm always on a budget and I feel like my basic muscle milk is sufficient (I don't drink lots of protein shakes at all because I prefer eating food) but you may find you love it! Try it and find out. 

If you want to join us for the challenge there is still time. You can order the pack through Beach Body on demand and stream it all straight through you TV. No waiting on shipping. 

If you want to join our challenge comment on the post and I will reach out! 

Awesome Blog Find- Recipes

I am a huge fan of sweets and anything related to dessert. I am always looking for a new recipe to add sweets back into my life without being unhealthy or sabotaging my weight loss efforts. I found this amazing cookie recipe last night on Amy's Healthy Baking  blog. I started looking through the rest of the blog and its pretty amazing for a foodie trying to be healthy like me. Check it out!

Daily Inspiration

I have always wanted to be strong. Maybe not always physically, but emotionally, mentally. One thing I have found is that becoming physically strong, being fit, being healthy, making it happen, requires mental and emotional strength as well.

Overcoming challenges in life is what helps us to become stronger. Challenges force us to face things that are hard head on, and deal with them. Your weight loss efforts are a challenge. They challenge you both physically and mentally. So many times we are able to overcome the physical challenge, but it is the mental one that drags us down.

Losing weight and getting the body you always wanted means resisting the urge to eat things you know you shouldn't. It also means facing some demons. Believe me, I have quite a few of my own regarding my body image and my emotional addiction to foods. When you have to say no to the foods you used to use to self medicate stress, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, you have to find other ways to handle them. That means coming face to face with some pretty challenging things. But facing them, addressing them, and working through them are what ultimately make you stronger. You can do this.... you can do this.

Weighing In

Yikes!! It's amazing what a year can do, especially if you stop trying. Last August around this time I was much smaller...

07/23/14

Weight 167

Waist: 36"

Hips: 40.5"

Bust: 40.5"

Arm: 12"

Thigh: 22"

Calf: 15.5"

08/20/14 

Weight 165.8

Waist: 34"

Hips: 40"

Bust: 38.5"

Today's measurements were quite disheartening

08/10/15

Weight 172.4
Waist 37"
Hips: 41.5"
Bust: 40"
Thigh: 23"
Calf: 16"
Arm: 13"

Basically I gained back a whole inch all over.. and 3 in my waist! Ugh

But this why I am starting over. This is why I am re motivated. This also shows I can do this! I can make this happen. I can make these changes, all I have to do is do it!

If you are tired of starting over....

One of Autumn Calabrese's favorite things to say is... "If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up." Truer words were never spoken. However the advice is much harder to follow than one might imagine. In my journey over the past 2  1/2 years I have pretty much continued to keep gong, but i hit a slump, and I got tired and I got lazy, and unmotivated and I gave up for while. But here I am again, starting over.

The important thing really is not whether or not you give up, it's whether or not you start again. We all get busy, we all get tired, and unmotivated. It's hard to keep that kind of steam going forever.

The 5 steps in the cupcake grieving process

I recently let myself really go. I gained back 8 lbs. I was the heaviest I had been in 3 years so I turned my shit around and got my butt back in gear. I noticed right away a pattern that I have gone through each time I really recommit to this fitness thing.

The first step is always anger. I am angry that I have to give up foods I have been scarfing down for weeks. I am angry that food even has calories, angry I have to work at this, angry I wasn't born naturally thin, angry I even have to care at all what I look like. The anger comes and goes for a while. This anger is accompanied by stress. It is difficult to determine if the stress is a symptom or simply something I already experience, and am now suddenly more aware of since I can't eat it away. My theory is that it is a combination of both. Tracking and counting and obsessing over my diet and fitness level is stressful! I am also a stress eater, so the stress in my life becomes so apparent when I stop self medicating with food.

The next step is rationalization. I begin to rationalize the idea of giving up. I come up with a million reasons why this whole thing is silly, and how it really isn't worth my sanity. If I died tomorrow would I think, " Wow I am so glad I spent all that time stressing and obsessing over my weight so I didn't die fat! Or would I think, "Damn it I should have eaten those cupcakes! I will never get to taste a cupcake ever again."

Then I examine. I start to determine the cause of all of my issues with food, and societies issues with food and weight. I theorize and conceptualize. I have deep lengthy conversations about how screwed up society has made us all with my husband, my friends, anyone who will listen really.

This is followed by a long period of complacency where I simply follow my plan with robotic surrender. I refuse foods, and activities that involve the possibility of over indulging.

It is hard to determine where I find the most happiness really. I enjoy being fit. I feel good when I work out regularly. I feel good when I eat good food. But I also love delicious food that is bad for me. I like being able to just relax and have a beer or a slice of pizza. I don't enjoy watching my ass grow or my legs turn into cellulite sticks. I don't enjoy seeing my pants get tighter. Initially losing weight and reaching my goals made me very happy, but these days it feels like a chore. I dread it. I am getting to a point where I literally hate every second of it.

And you know what I hate most? When people say "It's not a diet. It's a life style change." As I said to a friend the other day, it is a diet! It is a type of diet. Your diet consists of the food you eat. You could have a diet of wine and krispie kreme donuts. Or you could have a healthy diet. Either way this is a diet. I personally would prefer the donut diet.

I was hoping that I could change my mind. Change my views. Alter the way my brain felt about food. I worked hard for 3 years trying to change my thinking, and I have succeeded in that a bit. I am more educated about my health. I know exactly what I need to do, and what is good and what is bad. But even after 3 years I have not succeeded in changing my mind about pizza, or cake, or burgers, or fries. So this is it. This is the struggle. Forever. Every day, day in and day out. My whole life is simply going to consist of fighting the urge to eat what I want.

I also have not succeeded in convincing myself that I am doing this for my health. Sorry. I just don't care. I am doing this for one reason- to be skinny. I am doing all of this to be attractive. End of story.

I would love to leave you with some inspiring words, but I don't have any today. If you can relate to this post, then I feel I have at least succeeded in being real.