I see so many things circulating on the internet about beauty. One article talks about embracing your body, your curves, your scars, your mommy tummy. The next article is about putting down your fork and finding your motivation to be uber fit. This mommy, and that mommy can still have six pack abs so what is your excuse? It's a tug of war between the genetically blessed and the rest of us. And no matter how many of these inspirational "love your scars" articles I read I can't hep but still want desperately to be perfect. No matter how many posts I see about how even models aren't perfect, how Photo Shop has deceived us all, I still want to be the girl in the magazine.
I know exactly why, I know that all girls have been brainwashed since the moment we first saw a magazine with a gorgeous perfect woman on the front, since we first saw a commercial with a beautiful flawless lady selling this product or that product. From the moment we first heard our mothers talk about dieting, or working out. Do I want the perfect body because I feel like it would be healthy? Hell no, it's about being sexy, being what the world has told us (women) we are supposed to be our whole lives. Do I want to be fit to be healthy? Yes, and there is a difference. Can I separate the two? Do I work out just to be healthy? Honestly....no. I work out to feel good about me. Working out releases endorphins. I feel amazing. I feel fit and healthy and wonderful. I feel so accomplish dafter every 5k, every 10k, every 3 mile run on the treadmill. And underneath that is the natural byproduct. People notice. My husband notices. I feel attractive, I feel beautiful, which in turn also makes me feel good about me. Is this a bad thing? I don't know, regardless it's the way it works.
Should we embrace the idea that we are so immeshed in this cesspool of women needing to be perfect and beautiful, of good looks being highly valued in a woman? Of course not! But can we escape it? Not really. So what do we do? As shallow as it may sound as a product of my experience swimming through the cesspool I cannot embrace my saggy mommy belly. No matter how many articles I read I cannot see it as beautiful. Maybe one day when all the models are flaunting their saggy belly after pregnancy I will start to feel it's not the ugly bag that it is. But let's be honest, it's not pretty.
Armed with knowledge I have made a compromise with myself. I will embrace my best efforts. I will embrace as good as it gets. I will keep my expectations in a realistic zone, and I will be happy with the outcome from doing my best and trying my hardest. I will not beat myself up, I will not starve myself, or strive for perfection. I will never be a Victoria's secret model, an that is ok. Very very few women are. I will feel beautiful, because I am beautiful. Will I still envy perfect bodies? Yes. Will I let it tear me down and make me feel bad about me? No. I will work out for me, I will lose weight to be the best me I can be. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy. Nothing wrong with wanting to be better and reach a little higher, the problem comes when we let it break us down or make us feel bad about ourselves. So you embrace yourself however you want. Embrace whatever makes you feel good, and happy with who your are. Find your compromise. I think life is a journey in learning to love ourselves. And we are al in different places in that journey. This is where I am, where are you?
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